Biting my tongue

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, a forty day period which represents the forty days Jesus spent in the desert, enduring Satan's temptation. I didn't grow up in a church that placed emphasis on this tradition, but have nevertheless started to participate in Lent over the last few years. In my mind, there are two ways to approach this practice. The first is by deprivation, "giving up" something that brings pleasure. For many people, this involves chocolate, caffeine, or even facebook. The second approach is to commit to do something which makes you more Christ like. This year, I'm taking this route by abstaining from saying anything negative about another person. I don't want to give a false impression that that's something I do on a regular basis, but as a sinner, I've definitely gossiped or have said something negative about someone else. I don't anticipate this to be a big challenge, and my hopes are that I'll abstain from even thinking negative thoughts about others. Afterall, who am I to judge another? I am just another sinner who is blessed to receive God's grace.

Pink

Yellow is my favorite color. Although yesterday, pink was making a strong impression on me. Not because I watched Legally Blonde (who can resist Elle Woods?), and not because I was feeling especially girly. The color pink made a strong impact on me because I had the opportunity to scrub in on a mastectomy.

The woman I met yesterday had a viscous case of breast cancer, requiring surgical removal of her entire breast. It was very sombering to feel the walnut-sized mass in her breast, and to realize how such a seemingly small insult could lead to such a life changing event. The surgery involved making a large incision around the borders and carefully dissecting out the entire breast. When we eventually liberated the breast, we transferred it into a container to be sent to pathology. It was so strange to see her femininity sitting there in a jar, and to look down at her, sedated, with a huge hole in her chest. I was in such a medical mindset at the time, but as I pause to reflect, it all seems so personal, so sad. As we stiched up her chest and began to wake her up from surgery, I looked down and just thought that there was, strangley, something beautiful, something so very courageous about this woman. I have fortunately never known anyone who has tackled breast cancer. But to the 182,460 women who were diagnosed just last year, and the millions of breast cancer survivors out there, I pray that you continue to have strength, faith, and hope for a cure. After this experience I will view the pink ribbon with a whole new perspective.

Happy Valentine's Week!

I absolutely love Valentine's day. And for that matter, I love the whole week! In elementary school, I always took the task of chosing my valentines quite seriously, putting careful thought and consideration into who got which card. I saved the best for the boys I liked and my best friends of course. The tradition has carried on, and to this day I continue to enjoy making a fuss out of Valentine's day. One of my favorite memories is waking up extra early my freshman year of college (which was probably at like 7:00, haha) to go to Little John's and buy a couple dozen of their famous jumbo muffins. I carefully trecked back from the corner and had little Valentine surprises outside each of my hallmates' doors. I've had so much fun over the years coming up with special ways to celebrate this sweet little holiday of love <3. I feel so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends and hope that I tell you all on a regular basis how much I love you all. I can guarantee that if you're reading this right now, you are someone that I care about deeply and couldn't live without :). So from the bottom of my heart, I just want to say "I love you."

Surgery

This picture shows my best imitation of enthusiasm at 5:00 in the morning, as I head off for an exciting day of surgery! Actually, despite the long hours, I am absolutely loving the OR. I am rotating with the emergency general surgery team at Baptist hospital, a level one trauma center. I've seen and assisted on very interesting cases. Today, for example, we had an ED consult for a gentleman who had been shot with an arrow. We inserted a chest tube down in the ED and took him up to the OR to explore his abdomen. The adrenaline was definitely going!

I really have come to respect the surgeons and med students I work with. They are ridiculously smart, and I feel so lucky to be working with surgeons who take the time to teach me how to do things. The surgeons hardly sleep, and only eat or use the bathroom when they can. Yesterday around 4:00, I finally broke down to ask if I could grab a quick sandwich (since I hadn't eaten since 5!). There's definitely something rather hard-core about this field. Sadly, it's only 7:30 and I'm off to read and then hit the hay! At least when my alarm buzzes at 4:30, I'll know that my day will definitely not be boring!