Be confident, be present!

While perusing my Facebook feed the other night, I came across this quote posted by one of my friends, Jill Coleman-

"As humans, we are strange, aren't we--always making too much meaning out of everything and seeing the world through our own glasses of insecurity..."

This particularly struck a cord with me, as a self-proclaimed people pleaser. I will over-analyze, over-interpret, and exhaust a situation to death. Poor Jarrett is my ever faithful sounding board and I love him for it. This quote left me thinking long and hard. Why do we make to much meaning out of things? What is there to be insecure about? Why is it that these words apply more to some than others? While I didn't manage to solve the puzzle, its reassuring to know that I'm in good company!

So what's the answer? I'm not so sure that its clear cut at all. There are some people who are more sensitive and some who are perfectly confident, legitimately able to brush things off. Where you fall on that spectrum is the result of a culmination of how you were raised and who you surround yourself with, along with a whole host of variables that contribute to the way you see the world.

I care deeply about the happiness of others, I'm sensitive to their needs, and even a minor degree of tension can upset me. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to be sensitive, but I force myself to recognize that I can't please all at all times. It's just not humanly possible. Even if I am intentional in what I do, the end result is ultimately out of my hands. I have zero control over how someone else will respond, so rather than second guessing myself, I'm learning to own my actions and not look back.

Surrounding myself with positive people is another trick that's served me well. I have always been sort of picky with regards to who I spend the majority of my time with.This is a lesson that dates back to high school, a time in which your social circle defined you. I had a unique high school experience that required me to be in one school in the morning and another in the afternoon. As a result, I never landed in just one category or stereotype. I had my governor's school friends, my field hockey friends, my drama friends, and friends that didn't fall into any of those categories. Throughout high school and college one of the greatest lessons learned was to avoid toxic people. You know, girls that talk about you behind your back, people that undermine you to boost themselves ahead, individuals that team up together to make you feel insecure. I choose to expose myself to happy, loving people that love me for me!! The result being that I have absolutely incredible friends that I adore! While I wouldn't recommend "breaking up" or causing drama with your toxic acquaintances, I would encourage you to look at the people you spend time with and consider the influence they have on you. Just a thought :) .

Wow, we're digging deep guys! Just one more story I want to leave you with before you embark on some introspection of your own. This is a story that a dear friend shared with me this week, the story of the dragonfly. This past Sunday, her minister preached a sermon entitled "Be Present." In this technologically savvy, crazy, busy world, we are always on our Iphones, spend way to much time surfing the web, and become incredibly preoccupied and distracted by devices that make our lives easier. As a result, our relationships take a hit, waiting patiently on the sidelines, or being lost and abandoned altogether. The pastor explained that on 3 separate occasions, he saw dragonflies out of the corner of his eyes, nearly missing the beautiful creatures at the expense of fiddling with his Blackberry. Later on that day, my friend and her husband were talking with their neighbors and wouldn't you know... a dragonfly flew into the conversation and hovered in close proximity to one of the members who was tapping away on his Iphone. Just a friendly little reminder to "be present."

So while there isn't anything wrong with blogging, playing on Facebook, texting, and taking advantage of the wonderful opportunities that social media provides, the story of the dragonfly is another reminder of all things in moderation. Imagine what what beautiful things we may be missing! What a wonderful world we live in, savor it all.